Getting Out of the Way

I've taken numerous personality tests over the past few years, and they have all consistently said that I am a High D on the DISC test. Which basically means I have an insane drive in order to get things done. This didn't come as a shock to me, as I've always known that I have a desire to achieve things, and get things done and get them done well. I create task lists all assigned to different projects I'm working on and will make sure that everything gets checked off and that the project goes off perfectly. I will usually take on more then I can handle, but no one will ever know, and I will do whatever I have to do in order to get that done.

Recently, I've taken on a lot of responsibility in doing Outreach. I love every minute of it and feel like I'm finally fulfilling what I was called for. However, I've noticed something recently. I've made these outreach events/trips as something just to check of my to do list. I get caught up in the details and make it more about me and getting things done then allowing God to move. I know God always comes and moves in great ways whenever we do these events/trips, however, I feel like I'm getting in the way. I'm more focused on the outcome of the events/trip and making sure that ll of my tasks are done correctly then allowing God to come in and use me to get His work done. 

So, I'm getting out of the way. I'm allowing God to use me to get His work done, not the other way around. All of this isn't about me and getting things done, it's about God using me so that even one person can experience hope and love! 

Rest

It seems like rest is a common topic these days, as I read other blogs or talk to people, everyone wants prayer for rest. I feel like my life is on fast forward constantly and sometimes I feel like I can't catch up. With a new job, which is a blessing, and new opportunities at PURE (which I love) I feel like I'm constantly on the run. Constantly running from one meeting to another at work, while work starts slipping through the cracks, then after I leave here I run to a meeting at church or Bible Study or what not. And while I feel as if all of those things are a huge blessing in my life and I love doing all of them, I just don't feel like I'm getting rest anymore and that is affecting my relationship with God.

I sit there on Wednesday nights and listen to Shane talk about having a relationship with God that does not wither, that is constantly growing, and I feel like I fill my life with so much "stuff" that I don't have time to focus on God. I'm in the middle of reading Mad Church Disease by Anne Jackson (who is also doing as series on rest on her blog right now), and everything I read is dead on and how I feel about my life. I'm constantly worrying about keeping appointments or making sure tasks are done. I never stop and rest in the Lord.

Even as I sit here I fight it, I fight the desire to rest in the Lord. I sit here and think, but wait, we're moving next weekend, I have a million things to get done at work, I'm training for a half marathon, I have Cambodia and Mexico to keep trucking away at, however all of this would not be possible without God, so why am I leaving Him out of the equation. My prayer for the upcoming weekend and week is that I take the opportunities in my day to rest in the Lord, and that the Lord will calm my thoughts and I will stop thinking about my to do list, and that I can rest in His Presence and focus on Him and His plans for me, not what I want to get done that day.